Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What I've Become-A person who has influenced me

I am a 16 year old girl with 3 jobs, a dramatic social life, and I go to high school 5 days a week 6 hours a day... most of the time. All of this seems like someone who is in they're early thirties trying to make ends meet and has a couple kids and wants to finish they're degree in college. But no, I'm only a "mature" 16 year old girl. I guess its my choice though, I could go home more often. I could spend less time out, waking up in my friends houses on school nights, or working until 10pm on a Monday night just to make some extra money so I can pay for my own food and such. But if I did make that choice to go home earlier, like most people do at 3 or 4 after school.. I could go into why I dont particularly...enjoy..going home but I'm not going to. I will say what it has made me into though. I am stronger than most people my age and im not ashamed to have confidence in that fact. I'm not a 16 year old with a child but I do have my 14 year old brother who I do have to take care of when my dads across the country for weeks at a time, and my moms out pretty late every night. And by take care of I mean make dinner for, make sure he does his homework, take a shower, just the simple yet exhausting tasks that most mothers do daily, don't get me wrong, I love my mom a whole lot. But i'm more of the mom and shes more of the teenager. Same situation with my dad. If hes home, I have to take care of him, listening to his words slur together, mushing into this sound that i've unconsciously learned to tune out every night. The strong smell of his breath that perices my nose without fail,this aroma of alcohol, that has become his permanent cologne.
 I've seen things that no one at my age should see or even have to comprehend but no one can change that, i've come to the conclusion that everything no matter how intense, happens for a reason. These influences and the situations I am constantly put through day in and day out make me who I am. I've grown up pretty fast I'd say, but had it happened any differently i'm not sure what my life would be like. I am grateful for what I have even though relaxing isn't in my vocabualry and never has been.

Monday, May 21, 2012

An Early Reading Memory

Last year when I was in 10th grade Mr.O'Brien was my english teacher. He insisted that part of our year was to read a book of our own choice outside of school. My first choice was a novel called Sold by Patricia McCormick. To be honest I didn't really care what it was about or whether I was interested it in, I just wanted a good grade. My plan was to even just see if I could read it on sparknotes.com to just skim what the novel was about. Then, I actually had some spare time and began to actually read it. This novel made me feel beyond sympathetic and distressed which scared me considering I don't personally know the character, yet I still had extreme emotions you would normally feel for a best friend or a family member. I clearly remember crying at the end of this novel because I put myself in the protagonists "shoes" and imagined myself in her situation. She was sold into sexual trafficking and forced to live in a brothel house in another country, she originally thought she was going to a different country to be a maid and help make some money for her family who was living in poverty. After reading this book I realized how many simple things teenagers take for granted, even needs like food over wants like television. I used to stress over things like what to wear or how doing homework was more of a chore than a learning experience. Lakishmi would have given up anything to have an education or just a decent meal everyday of the week, or just to live in an apartment instead of a hut made of pure mud and grass. Reading this book made me appreicate what I have which might sound stupid but its extermely true.